First Love

Hey Everyone! 

Right, this blog post is going completely off Warped tour, (i'm sorry!) but unless you want me to write about the contents of my suitcase and what questions I have to fill out for my visa waiver form, there's not an awful lot to talk about this week. 

Instead, i'm going to let you in, and see a personal side to me, and tell you about my first ever true love. 

People always say you never forget or stop loving your first love, right? That's right in my case also. 

However... My first love wasn't a guy. It wasn't a girl ither.

It was a band. 

Specifically, this band... 

Most of you reading this will know EXACTLY who these 5 men are, some may not. For those of you who don't know. This is My Chemical Romance. Dressed exactly how they were dressed and looked the first time I laid eyes on them. (Funny looking right...?!)

It was The Black Parade video, and I only saw the last few lines of the song. Before I saw that video, I was your typical 10 year old who loved boy bands, and girlie pink things, and bright colours. A "girlie girl". Those 5 minutes (when I searched YouTube for the video afterwards to see the whole thing), literally changed my life. And this band quickly became my first one true love. I fell in love with the men. I fell in love with them individually and as a collective. I fell in love with the guitar riffs, the blurting drums, the unique vocal twang of Gerard, and the devilish look in their eyes on that music video. I fell in love with the idea, the imagery, the songs, the lyrics, the movement, the motos. Everything. Without that band, I wouldn't be writing this blog today. They made me change my "life path". They made me determined to do what I wanted to do in life, music. They turned me pretty much over night from this cute little girlie daughter, to a moody emo kid. But to me, it was a purpose, they were a way of life. They gave me hope, they gave me something to cling onto. 

When they broke up 16 months (roughly) ago, I sat in my room feeling numb all day. (Yes the emo side of me came crawling back out for the day). And even now, thinking about it, still makes me feel sad. It's the worst break up i've ever had to endure, and that's how I know that this band was my first true love. It still hurts 16 months on. 

I was lucky enough to see them 4 times live, but when they went on the Danger Days tour, I remember saying to my mum (after the London show), "Gerard wasn't himself". And really, I should have seen it coming. But I put it down to being tired or being ill or something. I didn't want to think my hero had lost heart in everything I believed in. The truth is, he didn't. Reading interviews with him now, it is quite clear that he himself, is still in love with My Chemical Romance. It was his baby. But he always knew there was a termination date. And for him, that was only about a year after I fell in love with them, after The Black Parade. My Chem were a band that never really knew what a massive impact they had on the music world until they were done. When fans, bands, producers, etc came out and spoke about how they changed them, how they impacted them personally. 

So basically. This blog is just "another one on the pile", of some fan who still hasn't gotten over their break up. But this is my story, just like everyone has their own. 

Some people feel alone, and some people feel like they've never been in love etc. Find that one thing that has devastated you, or would devastate you if you lost it. Got it? There... You're in love with that thing. It may be a band like mine, it may be a hobbie. Who knows, but that's your purpose. A first love isn't always a person, for some, it is, but for others, you find a love in something you never expect too. I never expected to fall in love with a rock band, not when I was 10 years old! But I did... Love is that one thing you believe in the most. It's that one thing that keeps you holding onto something when you have nothing else. Love is that one thing you think about subconsciously (I once caught myself writing "My Chemical Romance" instead of My Chemical Reactions in my science book in school...)

It will get you far in life if you keep believing in it. It's got me living out my dream, it can have you living yours! 

I hope you enjoyed reading something very personal to me, i've never really wrote about it before so it's been cool to share my feelings about My Chem, and if you love or hate them i'm sure you have an opinion on them too. So let me know! 

In just under 2 weeks time now, i'll be flying to America, so i'll try do another post next week if i haven't lost my head yet! But it's so so close, if you've already been to Warped, I hope you've had an AMAZING time. All the pictures look so so good, so I am ecstatic to get over there now!

Thanks for reading :)

Love <3